I'm not one to get into long-term relationships, it just has never been my thing. I believe that we should enjoy people that come into our lives and not be afraid of what happens while they are there. Maybe we fall in love and get married, maybe we just make out for a while, or maybe we just become really cool friends and hang out a bunch. It never helps, in my case, to put too much pressure or stigma on relationships. Just have fun. That's not to say that I don't long for emotional attachment. I think I would love to be with a committed partner for the rest of my life, but right now, more than ever, I am content to just let whatever happens, happen.
A month or so ago, the captain of the high school football team and I reconnected on Facebook. (Facebook is cool for stuff like that, I guess, but I'm still not convinced I love it's data mining.) We started talking and realized we both live in NYC now. During high school I was friends with everyone. Everyone knew me, too, because my dad was our guidance counselor. He was the cool guy, so, that helped. Anyway, back to football boy. We decided to get together and, maybe it's the fact we grew up in the same place, have a ton of common ground, or we just really like each other that we've sort of fallen into dating. I'm not saying that all of the sudden the captain of the football team/lacrosse star is going to fall in love with me and we're living happily ever after, but I don't think 5 years ago, I would have given him a second thought. "High School Sierra" would've been still caught up on the fact that the "Football Star" would never date someone like me. Things happen when you just let them. Live with a full heart, full love and no fear of the next 5 minutes. Maybe we never hang out again. Maybe we just become really cool friends. Maybe we get married and fulfill a 15 year long prophecy. Who knows? All I know is I like this life; it's fun and I'm not afraid.
God is an interesting word for a lot of people. I, myself, had a hard time with it for a long time. I grew up in a spiritual home, but my mom was deeply rooted in the Christian tradition, with splashes of the yogic, all with the underlying current to just be kind to people. Peppered with her scientific mind, being a nurse, she always encouraged me to question my beliefs and think for myself. Church never really spoke to me. I liked the Bible stories and was glad I got them, canonically, but by the time I was 16, I wanted nothing more than to be Wiccan. I started reading about the nature-based religion, studying spells and casting them with my friends. It really spoke to me that God could have many names and morph to HELP you in whatever avenue you needed, combine the duality of the masculine and feminine and wasn't some angry man looking at us from the sky judging our every move, which is what I got in Church most of the time.
I think that's why the yogic tradition speaks to me so abundantly now. I love the duality of the nature of the spirituality of the yogic tradition; Shiva/Shakti, Radha/Krishna, even the asana practice, having the steady and sweet, which has been classically translated to masculine and feminine.
There is the larger question now, too, as the question of gender comes into play more frequently, what "masculine" and "feminine" even mean and I think that it's important to keep that issue at the fore and keep talking about it and asking those questions.
What's important to me, in terms of God, is that I think it's nice to know there's something, someone, somewhere, that is working for and with us, and not an angry man yelling at us to be better or do better. We're all working a little harder together to be better.